2008

Off to Big Bear Lake’s OKTOBERFEST! Weekend of fun and...

“I spy Ryan Ridley on the Sarah Silverman...

irrationalblog: This week has been crawling along because...

“We live as we dream - alone.”
— Joseph Conrad, Heart of...

Cocktail Napkins.

It’s always a strange sensation approaching home. Flying on a plane to arrive where you came...

401-Keg Plan

alexkehr: If you bought $1000 of stock a year ago, you would now have: $91.28 if you bought...

Discovery Channel's My Shocking Story: Tree...

Off to Vegas to meet my Dad & Roxanne!

Where is Gregory Smith? I used to love me some Everwood....

“This is love, isn’t it? When you notice someone’s absence...”
— Jonathan Safran Foer,...

Just got done watching my fav, Moulin Rouge. For reals,...

Portland

Hey tumblrs who live in Portland, my mom and I are thinking of taking a vacation there the 2nd week...

ianbroyles: yay, movie night Movie Night Season Finale was...

“Wow, Barack! The ni**a’s name is Barack. Barack? Ni**a named...”
— Interview with Hip-Hop artist...

Amo la lingua Italiana! Che sono sobrio,...

Nessuno sul tumblr parla italiano? 

“You’re the nicest most pretty girl I know with a...”
— A young student on my...

Paper Planes.

I heard this song for the first time two days ago on the school bus while the kid sitting next to...

It's 11:00 pm and what do you think I am...

A) Hanging out with friends B) Drawing Pokemon pictures for Special Ed kids C) B but with it were A

I would think of something funny to tumble but I’m too busy these days spending all my free...

“Too many conflicting emotional interests are involved for...”
— William Maxwell

“If you get this coverage you will be covered for all...”
— Aflac Insurance Rep I learned...

“For me, spirituality comes from caring about others. I have...”
— Cocaine Anonymous Reaching Out...

“what she wanted was love, and the best way to go looking for...”
— ann patchett, truth and...

Odlin Redon c. 1900-05 Ophelia  Pastel on paper mounted on...

Odilon Redon French, 1900 Barrone de Domecy The Getty...

What is your favorite book title? I think my favorite is The Sun Also Rises. Although, Another...

“If you can read this, thank a teacher.”
— Anonymous I thought of this...

Just realized I threw away my spoon and washed my yogurt container. TGIF!

“You know what, Beatrice?” Janine said. She never used...”
— Empire Falls, Richard...

GPOYW (Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself Wednesday) I just...

Behavior Modification Training.

Vice Principle: I had a student who came to class stoned everyday. Do you think I said, "hey, stop getting high"? What do you think he'd say?
Me: He'd say "fuck you" and not change the behavior.
Vice Principle: Exactly. So what I did was at 9:45 each morning, you know, when he's all got the munchies and shit, I'd go from desk to desk and say, "good job not coming to class stoned today" and give the student an oreo. And when I got to him, I'd be like, "Oh sorry, you came to class stoned so you can't get one," and he'd be all like, "oh man! This shit sucks!" Because, you know, he's fucking stoned and hungry. So gradually week by week he stopped coming to class stoned.

I’m not into the new 90210 show as I never really...

Where for art thou Aaron, my want-to-be-Jewish-husband living in Chicago? I want your brain for...

I took this photo in Amboseli National Park at the Tanzania...

The Cure of Folly (The Extraction of the Stone of...

“Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.”
— Unknown author

Comments.

I sometimes see people getting defensive over negative reblogs of their content on tumblr. I can...

boringloser: Having Jillian’s Mii show up while playing Wii...

John James Audubon American b. Haiti (1785-1851) American...

Writers' rooms.

On Novels.

I generally read a book every couple days and will be posting some of my favorite quotes from each...

“… everything that enlarged our ritual of reading,...”
— Bernhard Schlink, The...

Henri Rousseau France, 1884-1910 Carnival Evening, 1886 oil...

“‘Never talk yourself out of knowing you’re in...”
— Three Junes by Julia Glass

Tom and I as Kurt & Courtney. Photo by Paul Awesome...

Jim and I as Courtney Love & Sid Vicious at Tim’s...

I failed my Driver’s Test today. For those of you who know me, I’m sure this...

No big deal, but something I helped...

The One Dollar Bookstore in Burbank on San Fernando & Verdugo is bad ass.  I can spend hours in...

“When I look at myself from another’s perspective and...”
— My journal: May 26,...

Sobes Lives.

Dynamic New Visions, the mix-gendered sober living I live in in Los Angeles, has seen a fair amount...

“Archie comics that are filled with ‘Lil Archie’...”
— Dislikes on my...

“Whatever needs to be maintained through force is doomed.”
— Henry Miller

“It is sad not to be loved, but it is much sadder not to be...”
— Miguel de Unamuno

“If temperamentally we are on the depressive side, we are apt...”
— Twelve Steps and Twelve...

I just watched THE GOONIES for the first time yesterday and OMG, forget the movie, let’s talk...

Dear People on Internet, Please stop posting pictures and text about your fab vacays and around the...

“Girls just wanna have funds.”
— Country knick-knack sign on...

Cleaning out the garage, shitty part of my trip home.

“I am very interested in choosing being an FBI Agent as my...”
— I’m cleaning out the...

jillianborden: My poor sister is trying to get me to feel the baby kick and I ain't havin' none of that.
benniehanna14: I once had the worst gas, and I was so bloated for all of these days. I kept feeling all of this random, what felt like kicking, in my stomach...I was like, 'oh man i am totes pregs.'
benniehanna14: 3 dumps later my scare went away.
benniehanna14: But it was so fucking weird.

Me: So, can you pick me up tomorrow?
Erin (childhood friend also home for the week): No, I don't have a car.
Me: I don't have a car or a driver's license.
Me: I could always have my mom pick you up and drop us off at the beach.
Erin: Or, we could ride bikes?
Me: God, you'd think we'd have the ride problem solved by age 25.

“I don’t know where but she sends me there.”
— Good Vibrations, (fav Beach...

“Mom and I were watching TV when we heard a plane fly by and...”
— My sister, Nicole, on the...

I asked Dave to shape his facial hair like this and he did....

Hey, remember me!?

I’m in the process of interviewing and I’m wearing a pencil skirt and one of my old work...

60 days clean and serene! This, ladies and gents, is a...

touche honky = my new way to verbally agree with something.

So I’ve developed a theory that if I think hard enough...

Hi tumblr friends! How’s work going? Gee, it must be a drag going to work all the time! In...

Jillian, for your birthday I hacked into your tumblr and...

Me: You need to give me something to ease this feeling. Now. I need something now.
Nurse: Here, take this. It's 10 mg of Atavan.
Me: What? Atavan? Are you fucking serious? I EAT ATAVAN FOR BREAKFAST.
Nurse: Miss, don't make me ask you to leave the ER.

OMG!

I’m alive! I was in the hospital for a month. Thank you all my dear tumblr friends and...

“Reality TV Show: A man is locked inside an apartment and...”
— mental_floss magazine. 

I have mad scratches all over my body...

A) I got in a fight with a street cat I was try to cuddle B) Night of passion C) Allergic reaction...

When Bennie and I were in 4th grade my dad took us to my...

Arnold, Michigan - LOL Bennie at Camp. Jillian B., 9th...

Scott: You look hot in your 90's style headphones.
Me (excited): Really!?
Scott: No.

Bad-ass first name.

I just recieved an application from a woman whose first name is Arwen.  If I ever have a baby...

Nicole: I love you and miss you a lot.
Jillian: I love the both of you and wish we were all sitting around in our PJ's eating popcorn and braiding each others hair and talking about this instead of email chaining it up.
Bender: Nom, nom, nom, I luv Jan's popcorms.

I love Unicef’s Bad Water Kills ad. I remember when I...

ring, ring. “Hey baby, whatcha doing? You were...

TRANSFORMERS.

I’m watching this for the first time right now.  When I borrowed it from 622...

There are some crazy male grunting noises (aka SEX noises)...

My friend Eric Bronstein took this picture while we were...

I just showered and was running around getting ready dancing...

mental_floss Magazine.

Scott: So, do you like that mag I brought home for you?
Jillian: Yes! It's full of neat articles about the history of the Notre Dame Cathedral and Nasa's History. It's awesome!
Scott: Great, so I won't throw it away?
Jillian: No way! (inappropriate hand gesture) I want to whack off all over this magazine like you do Hustler!

OMG. Dave’s post reminded me why I love Ryan Ridley....

Ethnicity stats.

Work just gave me a really fun game to play where I take a stack of job applications and I try to...

Jillian: I found a cute little plate for him and I leave him cheese and he totally comes and takes it.
Jillian: I am planning on maybe spending all day on Sunday in my bed waiting for him to be bold enough to get the cheese while I am present.
Jillian: My overall plan is to domesticate him enough so that I can touch (pet) him.
Jillian: Ideally he would eventually lay on my pillow while I read or surf the internet.
Eddy: I know you're going to do the mouse thing regardless of what anyone says, but as you should already know, those things (cute as they may be) are transporters of some really aweful diseases that will affect humans (especially young women that don't have much of an immune system). So be careful.
Jillian: Little Charlie does NOT carry diseases, DAD.
Eddy: Little Charlie is a sweltering mess of death.

24-Carat Solid Gold Idea

622 Tularosa Boys – When you guys go to Vegas soon you should go to a sexy club and use Del’s mad...

I've named it Charlie.

OMG! There is a mouse living in my room! The past two nights I SWORE that I saw a mouse slyly make...

Gotta watch that recap. Dave and I are going to Emac and...

I’ve been really stressed out lately.  Yesterday I...

One time I asked an ex-boyfriend to pick me up some...

me, fav place: Masai Mara, Kenya

I forgot to mention...

It wasn’t until I was shampooing my hair this morning that I realized I was showering in...

“I think you should pull a George Castanza and start doing...”
— Bender. Totes agree! Except...

me, fav place: Villa Corsi Salviati, Sesto Fiorentino,...

You should have moved here like, yesterday. Get out of...

OMG! I get to talk to Edward Norton!!!

A few readers asked me to clarify why I no longer work in the job that allows me to do all of that...

OMG. I worked out today for the first time since 2005 and I practically puked all over the...

Rant.

This morning on the bus I noticed that all of the dumb kids on their way to Hollywood High School...

Roommate hunt update:

Scott: So, what do you think of the prospects?
Me: Eh, I don't know.
Scott: I want someone chill.
Me: Like, someone we can talk about poop with.
Scott: Yah, I like talking about poop.
Me: We should add that to our ad, "Must be willing to talk about poop."

Law Student #1: So I ran into the office girl today.
Law Student #2: The blonde with the boobs?
Law Student #1: Yep, she smiled at me.
Law Student #2: She wears weird scarves all the time. Like blankets. She wears blankets to work.
Me (sitting at the table behind them): Hahaha!
Law Student #2 (in a whisper): Holy shit, she's sitting behind us.
Law Student #1 (whisper): You totally made fun of her scarves.
Law Student #2 (whisper): You talked about her BOOBS.

Jimmy Kimmel & Adam Carolla’s production company saw our ad on Craigslist for a new...

“I agree that Escanaba between 2001 and 2003 was a magical...”
— Eddy Veeser.

“You think you like all music? Here, I made you a mix CD....”
— I Like All Music.  It’s...

“December 25th, 1832 - While going to shore we pulled...”
— Charles Darwin, Voyage of the...

“A sister is someone who knows everything about you and loves...”
— Unknown. I want to talk to my...

roommate search update.

jillianborden: Dude, so this kid was supposed to come look at the house at noon and that's like, early for me on a weekend.
jillianborden: So for the first time since I don't know, high school, I showered before noon on a Sunday.
jillianborden: And then he texts us at noon and says, "I took a cat nap at 10:30 and didn't wake up until just now."
jillianborden: And I was so pissed. HE gets to sleep and I can't? No sir. Not going to fly.
jillianborden: So I told him to forget about living here.
jillianborden: Today is a day that you don't want to fuck with me.

Kacy: Wow, that is really complicated. Move back to michigan!
Me: Hahaha.
Me: Awesome solution Kacy.

jillianborden: sister!
YooperRoo: [user is away] Playing Rock Band with Trav, Carol, Duane and Gma and Gpa
jillianborden: I HATE U

Scott: You're wearing THAT (looking at my sweats & hoodie)
Me: Yah, why?
Scott: Put on some fucking jeans. We're going to HOLLYWOOD.

If anyone knows Hale Appleman please let him know that I...

“I was just making some sausage and it made me think of you.”
— voicemail from my old college...

It’s so cold in here and the fresh out of the copier...

LOL

OMG I love sloths!

MIT offers 1,800 classes online for FREE.

This is my pile of ‘professional shoes’ that I...

“Tommy Hilfiger is a repeated offender of using product-image...”
— Sent to Tara on Oct. 9,...

Inbetween trying to find a roommate and watching that music...

COME LIVE WITH ME: $775 Room in Huge Silver...

For West Coast Boulevardiers

My boyfriend Michael just called.  You know, just checking...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

I saw TEETH last night and really enjoyed it.  I can think...